A wife hit her husband's head with a frying pan. The husband
didn't know why and asked her. Then she said that she had found
a piece of paper with a woman's name, Mary Rose on it. So, the
husband then explained that that name was the horse's name when
he went to the racetrack the previous Sunday. Few days later,
the wife brought bigger frying pan and hit him again. So, the
husband, puzzled, again asked why. The wife said, "Your horse
alled today."

----------------------------------------------------

Joe and Bill are working at the sawmill when Bill saws his arm off.
Joe takes the arm, puts it in a plastic bag and rushes Bill to the
hospital. The next day, Joe visits the hospital to find Bill in rehab
playing tennis. "Wow, the wonders of modern science," Joe says.

They got back to work and are sawing away when clumsy Bill cuts his
leg off. Joe takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag, and off they go to
the hospital. The next day, Joe visits and finds Bill playing football.
"Wow, the wonders of modern science," Joe says.

Back at work, Bill leans too far forward and cuts his head off. Joe
takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag and rushes to the hospital.
The next day, when Joe visits, he finds no sign of his chum.
"Where's Bill?" he asks an orderly.

"We might have been able to save him," reports the orderly.
"But some idiot put Bill's head into a plastic bag-and so he suffocated."

----------------------------------------------------

In 1945, Winston Churchill and his Conservative party lost their election
and the president of Laborer party, Attlee became the Prime Minister.
As soon as he took the office, he progressively started nationalization
of big companies.

Encountering Attlee in the men's room of the House of Commons one day,
Churchill distanced himself as far as possible from his socialist rival.
"Feeling standoffish today, are we, Winston?" asked Attlee.
"That's right," said Churchill. "Every time you see something big,
you want to nationalize it."