A reporter asked a famous conductor, "What's the greatest secret
of your success?" "That's because of my parents," he replied.

"Did your parents give you a special education?" the reporter asked again.

"No, they didn't. In the beginning, I learned the cello, but my parents
stopped my practice because it was noisy. Then, I learned a trumpet,
but they forced me to stop it. They did so with the violin and piano.
Finally, all I could find in the field of music was being a music conductorc"

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A minister asked his wife, "Can you tell me what is the best way to
get my congregations' attention during my lecture?"
"Well..." his wife murmured.
Then, his child sitting right next to her said,
"I know dad. You place a clock in front of your podium."

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Sue passed away, so her husband, Bubba, called 911. The operator said
they'd send someone right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause. Finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over
to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"