An 80
year old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said,
"Friend, for your age your in the best shape I've seen."
The old feller replied, "Yep. It comes from
clean living. Why I know
I live a good, clean, spiritual life."
The doctor asked him how he knew that.
"Why," the old man, "I must live
a good, clean life or the Lord wouldn't
turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle
of the night."
The doc looked a little concerned.
"You mean when you get up in the night to go
to the bathroom,
the Lord Himself turns on the light for you."
"Yep," the old man said, "Whenever
I get up to go to the bathroom,
the Lord turns the light on for me."
Well, the doctor didn't say anything else, but when
the old man's wife
came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her
husband said.
"I just want you to know," the doctor
said. "Your husband's in fine
physical shape but I'm worried about his mental conditions.
He told me every night when he gets up to go to
the bathroom, the Lord
turns the light on for him."
"He what?" she cried.
"He said every night when he gets up to go
to the bathroom, the Lord
turns the light on for him."
"Why that rascal," she said. "He's
been peeing in the refrigerator."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Three
women are living in the same house. One night after talking
Anabelle says she is going to take a bath and go to bed. Anabelle
gets the tub filled and SLOWLY puts one leg in and stops, she can't
remember, "Am I getting in or out?" So, she calls out "Mabel,
can
you come up here?"
So Mabel goes up the stairs and at the landing
she has to rest after
a short rest she can't remember if she was going up or down so she
yells out "Gladys, was I going up or down? I can't remember."
Gladys shakes her head "Oh, those two if
they didn't have their
heads attacked they would never remember where they left them,
they forget everything! At least I'm not like that Knock on wood."
Gladys then knocks twice on the table. "Come in!"